Recovering from a broken heart.
This is going to be a different kind of blog post.
The truth is - I’ve struggled with how to do this… for months. Until tonight, when I was in a deep trance out here on the beach in Jaco, Costa Rica, and from my unconscious – a voice came into my head, and said:
“Dammit - stop being a wussy! Just tell the truth. People love you, dude!”
I burst into laughter, opened my eyes, and started writing this letter, smiling.
When I started this company with the most awesome partner ever – David Sharpe, the whole concept of this company was built on authenticity - truth in the face of struggle, courage in the face of challenge – perseverance, and a heart for the people.
I told the truth when the merchants shut us down.
I told you the truth when we were struggling.
I told you the truth when I had nothing left, other than an unshakeable belief in a new and beautiful future.
And you stuck with me, because you know that I love you. Because I don’t think I’m better than you — I perceive you as my equal. In fact, in a lot of ways – I think you’re better than me.
I had a 4 hour conversation with Len Clements the other month where he pounded me with critical questions about our business model – and after four hours, you know what he said?
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Dave – I have been writing critical reviews of companies for more than 20 years. In that 20 years – you are the most open company owner I’ve ever ran into – times one hundred. One thing nobody can ever say, is that you are not open.”
So today, in a deep trance an image of Batman emerged (see Facebook thread) and commanded me to delete my own little wussy inside, in the name of Gotham City.
Here’s the deal:
I’ve been having marriage challenges for a long time. A long time. It’s not all my wife’s fault. It’s not all my fault. It was both of us, not knowing how to be married in a healthy way.
And (stupidly) I made the mistake of not getting help for something I didn’t know how to fix.
Our marriage was a great friendship, and Ash is awesome. We weren’t so hot at the actual being married to each other bit.
So almost 6 months ago, about a month before Chicago - she wanted to be an actress in Hollywood, and I wanted to stay in Costa Rica. So she left to go pursue her awesome dream of being a movie star. She’s going to do great.
Personally, I think that’s cool. My dream in life is to help others live their dreams. That includes Ashley, no matter how our connection and personal relationship has changed over the years.
While she was away for months, I was lonely and got really involved with this awesome Costa Rican girl. At first I was just flirting, having fun, and dating – nobody knew about it. And then I fell in love with her.
She’s pregnant now.
And… the baby is mine. And I’m pumped. But a lot of things have changed for me in my personal life because of it, and I want to be truthful with you. I’m not sure the exact date, but the pregnancy happened somewhere around the end of May. I found out about it on the trip back from that team training I did out in Miami, Florida. I’d share her name, but I’m trying to protect her right now, and keep her safe. I don’t know where she is, though.
When I found out that I am having a baby, I was more excited than I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve always wanted to be a dad. So I told Dave Sharpe about it, and a few of my closest friends, my parents, and my brothers.
I’m having some challenges out here because of it, and I need your support (back to that in a minute).
Ashley and I decided to officially separate – she’s going to be a famous Actress out in Hollywood. I’m going to keep focusing on my vision – to empower you to become the greatest person that you can possibly be. Sometimes to do that, you have to reach down inside yourself, and find something there that you didn’t know that you have.
Just know that the vision here is safe.
And bigger than ever, too.
Because I struggled with how to tell people about it, I said nothing - because I only want to do things that Empower you to be your BEST self that you can be.
And I worried about what you would think, until I realized…
…that dammit, you love me!
And I realized to just talk straight with you for a few reasons:
Doing anything else is wussy…
…and there are probably at least 50,000 people who will see this, and a HUGE amount who right now are going through similar pain (maybe minus the whole surprise baby in another country part). Maybe you’re going through something, and even feel like nobody in the world is like you.
You feel like you are alone.
The one thing I’ve learned from telling a handful of trusted people about this is…
…holy crap, a lot of people have messed up relationships, and don’t ever talk to anyone about it. I thought I was alone, and the truth is unreal. Talking about it has helped me realize that not only is what Ash and I went through common… some of my best friends in the world have been through the same exact thing — and they thought they didn’t have anyone to talk to, either.
The coolest message I got was actually from my Mom. She sent me this message about my Grandpa, talking about how his first marriage was full of pain, and nobody knew. After that, he was with my Grandma for 55 years, and they were the happiest years of his life.
I had an interesting conversation with Eric Worre about his story, too. Same pain. Different story. Now, he’s more successful, victorious and happy than he’s ever been in his entire life…
I have a new future now! In fact, I can get mentors, dream, and actually find people who have the kind of relationship I want, like Tony and Jessica Rush, Lawrence and Jessica Tam, Justin and D Verrengia, David Sharpe and Erin - and model them. So can Ashley.
It’s a good thing.
I figure I should just be open, because… If I suddenly popped on stage with a mini Dave Wood sometime next year, and said “surprise” you might be pissed that I didn’t tell you…
Here’s why I need your help:
A couple of reasons.
First, there are going to be people who read this, who think that my marriage issues had something to do with making lots, and lots of money on the internet. Ridonculous amounts.
I want you to help me clear that up. They had nothing to do with each other, at all. I always loved Ashley. She always loved me. We never had a GREAT marriage. We were both great people, and these problems were created YEARS before I ever even got on the internet. It wasn’t just me, and wasn’t just her – we teamed up for that.
I still think she’s awesome, and am actually HAPPIER for her now. Because she can now step into all that she can be - and I’m going to support her in that.
So solving myth #1 —> Success isn’t going to make or break your marriage. The two can be together, like with Tony and Jessica – or Justin and D Verrengia. You can also have a miraculous life, like me – and struggle in your relationship big time. If you have a bad marriage when you get rich, the rich won’t fix it.
Second, I need your help to focus. The launch of ENV2 is coming, and I want to make sure my head is in the right space for the next couple of months, because we are making some announcements and doing things after that, that are changing the game - everywhere.
I haven’t been totally in the zone lately because my energy has been consumed by emotions that have come up because of all of this and what I’ve needed to do to heal them. Some of you who are close to me have noticed. Now you know why.
Because there’s no need for secrecy – and I am proud to tell the truth, but I want to take it a step further.
One time I was talking to a wise, rich friend in Phoenix, Arizona – late at night in a hotel room. I had driven down to the hotel in my raggedy old 1994 Ford Escort (I didn’t have insurance on it – I was that broke) and I was struggling. He told me:
“I’m not perfect – I’m just like you. I only appear more powerful now because I’ve had bigger struggles. I’ve walked through greater difficulty. I’ve been in the depths of more intense sorrow – and by humility have overcome more problems – because I’ve had more problems to overcome. Surround yourself with people you can trust, who have what you want, and ask for help. They will lift you to the heights of greatness.“
So I asked for help to get my heart right – because I want to be the greatest leader I can be. Dave Sharpe suggested I go to a 12 step recovery program for a month or so to reset my soul. I took the advice, and I’m voluntarily taking off to a recovery center in Costa Rica for about a month, just to clear out my thinking and re-set my vision.
“For what????” You might say.
Well, a few reasons. I’m not addicted to drugs or alcohol, in fact, I haven’t even drank at all since I found out I am having a baby.
Right now, I need a little ’12 steps’ on my heart. I’m doing well, but am hurt inside. I’m recovering. That has helped David Sharpe, and so I’m listening to counsel in areas where I am weak – because I learned a long time ago when you’re humble, and will listen to those who have power that you don’t yet have…
…your weakness will become your greatest source of strength and power.
So that I can one day live my dream relationship.
So that I can set an example.
So I can learn to bounce back, in victory.
I want to be the best leader I can be.
So I’m going to allow the magical people around me to lead the company when I’m gone, and I’m counting on you to prepare the way for…
“The Blog Beast”
Coming September 30th.
By then, as Arnold Schwarzenegger would say:
“I’ll be back.”
And better than ever.
In fact, with Terminator 2, Batman 2, and ENV2 – you’re about to see:
“David Wood Version 2.”
Here to make you even richer.
I want to connect with all of you for a second.
I’m not the messiah. I’m not a guru. In fact…
…I’m just here with you.
Going through the same things you’re going through.
Having the same challenges you have.
Having the same VICTORIES you can walk into, when you have a dream.
Just try not to get anyone pregnant in a random country
(not that there’s anything wrong with that, if you do)
Copy Tony Rush and Jessica’s cool marriage, instead…
(although I have to admit, the thought of being a dad is pretty exciting)
I want to make sure of a few things:
You realize how awesome you are.
You understand how capable of hands you’re in at the moment. There’s nobody in the world I trust more than David Sharpe, Jerry Ballard, and the leadership at Empower Network.
You understand that THIS is a critical time. Yes, I’m taking off for a bit. Because I trust the people around me. Because I want to be PRESENT in the present. Because I want to be able to give 1,000% of my energy.
I love you.
Yes, I’m going through some challenges. I will solve them, because I know I’m not perfect.
***See the note below this post for a disclaimer on the following story.
One day, Jesus was sitting around writing in the dirt with a stick. Some priests came up to him, and said:
“We’re better than this chick. The prophets say we should stone her. What do you say?”
Jesus, lifting his head – staring… after drawing in the sand, whispered gently …in a still, small voice:
“Let he who is NOT a wussy cast the first stone.”
And they got up, and left. And it was thus written:
“Thou shalt release thine inner badass instead.”
(severely brutalized passage from somewhere in the Bible. As you can see, I don’t read it much. Ask Chris Record what it actually says, or Lawrence Tam might have an idea.)
I realized talking to people, how common it is to live in a relationship that isn’t right.
It doesn’t mean the people aren’t awesome.
If you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean that you’re not a badass.
It means that you’re human.
I love you. I appreciate Ashley and will be her friend. Heck, I love this girl out here in Costa Rica who’s pregnant with my baby. Even though I don’t really have a clue what’s going to happen with that and I don’t know where she is at the moment.
And you know what?
I wanted to thank you for loving me, even though I ain’t perfect.
Because I appreciate that more than you can imagine.
IF you’ve been going going through great personal struggle… I know you think you are alone. I know you don’t think your friends and family have been through the same thing.
You’re going to be surprised when you reach out for help.
And if you haven’t been through great personal struggle — I want you to realize something…
…there’s someone sitting right next to you who is going through great pain right now. They are not talking to anyone. Because they think they can’t.
And they want so much for you to reach out, put your arm around their shoulder, and tell them:
“Hey man, I love you. Thanks for just BEING… who you are.”
See you in a month…
…and if you’re one of the folks reading this who needs help – get it, dammit. And I’ll be back, to help you. Because you’re awesome.
-David Wood, Version 1
“Recovering from a broken heart”
***Disclaimer on made up Jesus Story: The use of the Jesus story was expressly not approved or endorsed in any way by Jerry Ballard, David Sharpe, or Empower Network, LLC. Specifically, Jerry deleted it in his review of this blog post.. No need to put in a customer service ticket about it, you are welcome to call me to repentance in the comments. Although, I’d probably get a lot more value if you just prayed for the Mommy of this baby. I don’t know where the she is. I don’t know if she’s safe. I’m worried about her, and I can’t help her, even though I want to.
See you in a month.