5 Great Reasons To Cuss to your Hearts Content
I just got an email (I’m replacing the person’s name with a ‘dummy name‘ [Joe Black] to keep integrity and protect privacy) that explained that Joe was offended because I cussed in an email, and that he unsubscribed from all my lists. Let me show you (edited for privacy only) the message:
Hey Dave ,
Just thought I would let you know that I have unsubscribed from all your lists today. I wish you all the best and continued success but decided to remove myself due to the fact you used some really unprofessional language in this latest email blast.
You are like the 3rd person’s lists who I’ve removed myself from within the last two months who are all rather successful but for whatever reason have chosen to use vulgar language in email blasts. Maybe its some new technique not sure but what I do know is it sure doesn’t work for me.
All the best
Now, I don’t really cuss that often – only in very specific times and places to illustrate certain points – but whenever I do it, someone always gets offended, and the rest of the people out there get pumped. I responded to Joe, and I wanted to copy and paste the message, to explain the reasons why sometimes I cuss, and why it’s occasionally useful for me, although it may not be for you. (message not edited at all except for changing the name to ‘Joe Black’):
Thanks for the heads up.
I’m going to be honest – just because you were on my list for some sort of reason – without being offensive in the slightest.
(aside from maybe a few positive examples of cussing)
No, cussing is not a new technique – however, it is more effective at what it’s for than any other kind of language.
Let me explain (as a courtesy – really just so you know ‘why’ I’m doing it)
First of all, I am not, nor is most of the new generation of the world – offended by cussing. I don’t find it appalling – I don’t find it offensive, I find no ‘biblical’ basis for not doing it and no reason to avoid it (also, it’s fun and appealing to lots of people) – and I also find it an effective way to communicate with a majority of the population for several reasons – let me explain them, so you know that in taking offense – you are in a very small minority – who knows, maybe you would have made me a million dollars had I not offended you, but look at all of the wonderful reasons to cuss my brains out:
1. Cussing is by far the most emotionally charged way of communicating verbally. There are no other words in the english language – other than cuss words – that can get people quite as charged up with just saying one thing – this makes it useful for creating positive and negative emotional responses on a massive scale. For example – ‘gosh dangit’ doesn’t create the same emotionally wired response as ‘shit’ – does it? In communication with masses – creating emotional charge is important.
2. Cussing is (by virtue of the previous reason) the best way to ‘break state’ through written words. There are other techniques – like highlighting, underlining, verbs and adverbs – bold words, changing fonts that create a response and can grab attention – but nothing like the good ‘ol cussing. Why do you think movies do it so much? Ever noticed that most popular movies have liberal amounts of cussing? There’s a reason for that – people like it and it captures their attention because of the emotional charge.
3. When people take offense to something – their brain wakes up and they pay attention – albeit offended – but offended attention is better than no attention in communicating an important message – like, for example, the fact that if we don’t do something about the Federal Reserve – 99% of the world is screwed – and that, my friend is more important than disagreements on verbage.
4. The emotional charge created by the cussing – such as you experienced – anchors information in the subconscious mind and makes it very difficult for people to forget the information. For example – I bet you’ll not forget that email, even though it pissed you off. Personally, although I respect your model of the world, I think it’s not very useful to get offended by something that 99% of the world does on a daily basis. (MOST people cuss from time to time when they’re relaxed – it’s not the minority)
5. (the biggest, most important reason to cuss my brains out): People are sick of the ‘common’ success mythology – wear a suit and tie, act and be professional – be proper all the time, don’t put your elbows on the table – eat with your fork, dangit!
When I dress however I want to – not to impress or to offend, but because I want to only – it relates with the MAJORITY of people, who inside feel that all that ‘success nonsense’ is bull shit. And to be frank, it is. So by offending a few (like yourself – and you’re a great guy I’m sure) I win the loyalty of the many. I become ‘the guy’ that showed them that they can be themselves and make money too – by FAR the most important aspect of my message. You don’t need to be professional – dress in a suit, have a degree, follow all the rules, and act like you’re in a 90 year old religion to have success – you can do it and be YOU, with all of your power and God given greatness.
So yes, I’ll cuss my brains out – selectively and scientifically, just like Tony Robbins does in his seminars, and in offending unfortunate individuals, I’ll win more friends and influence more – and better help the world.
Personally, I think that getting offended by that is not very useful to you, even if it’s tied to a religious belief, and I also think it makes you appear judgemental to 99% of the world by expressing it, which is pointless, too.
I’m not offended by your offense – my Dad would be offended, too – but then again, my Dad loves me anyways regardless of our disagreements on phonetics, which is why I respect him so much, even though we differ.
It’s useful to point out, however, that currently I’m more influential than my Dad ever has been, and make more money – even after 40 years of practicing law, graduating from Stanford and Cornell, and working hard and smart his entire life.
I guess cussing pays off, bigtime
Love you man, sorry to see you go over something trivial.
Let me clarify on a few points here – and no, I don’t really think anyone should be a ‘cuss-o-holic‘ like my good friend Shannon was growing up – I do think, however, that you shouldn’t get offended by cussing, even if it’s part of a religion you’re a part of to not cuss. Because by doing so (by getting offended at everyone), you appear judgemental to 99% of the world, who has no problem cussing infrequently and selectively, like I do.
There’s nothing worse for winning people to your way of thinking than being judgmental of something so common and trivial – YES, it’s ok and noble for YOU to choose not to do it - but getting offended by the occasional ‘shit’ when someone stubs there toe will only make you appear like a jerk to all of us who have let the mouth slip when in pain.
Let me give you an example of what I mean – I grew up in a hard core Mormon family. I still love the Mormon church, and believe it most of the time, but gosh dang it, I was a square peg in a round hole all growing up – no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t keep all the rules, it was like I was born deficient of the ability to be perfect. (Again, the Mormon church rocks and people are very cool)
One time, I was living in Utah, and I was taking a style of Kung Fu known as ‘Wing Chun Kung Fu’ from a place called the WCKFC (Wing Chun Kung Fu Council) – VERY cool place, with lots of good Mormons and rebels alike, right in the heart of Orem and Provo (the headquarters of the famous BYU – which 4 of my siblings have now graduated from).
There was a guy who was a good pal of mine, great guy and had an incredible heart – with an uncanny foul mouth. Of course – going to high school in the 90′s, I developed the ‘modern immunity’ that all people in my generation have to offense from cussing.
One day after a Kung Fu camp (3 days in the mountains hitting things – like I said - Kung Fu attracts a lot of ‘rebels’ with ADHD type personalities, who have problems with social norms like ‘no cussing‘) we were in a KFC (before I was ‘mostly vegetarian’ like I am now [like I said - not perfect really at anything]) and my buddy was talking away – jibbering and jabbering about something he was doing, and cussing every few sentences or so. It was fairly quiet, not loud and rude, and a personal conversation.
I noticed a guy getting angrier and angrier across the room, (he would have to have a sound magnifier to hear what we were saying – or rudely ignoring his company to get mad purposefully at our conversation). He was so far away, that I literally thought he was getting mad at his family – because I couldn’t imagine someone being offended. He eventually got up, stormed across the room, and yelled at us in public, talking about how cussing interferes with the spirit of God, and we were disturbing his meal.
Now, I’m not perfect, haven’t memorized the Bible, (and this is in NO WAY reflective of all of the awesome, wonderful Mormons or Christians I know who prefer not to cuss and are great friends, like my Dad and older brother Will) – but I would bet to say that isn’t a great technique to win people over.
After that experience, (I thought it was funny), but my friend got so offended (he grew up poor, being beaten, and cussing was part of survival as a kid on the streets – it was VERY tightly wound in his personality) that he never talked about Mormons again, and he eventually moved away.
Now – he probably shouldn’t have gotten offended, and maybe he ‘shouldn’t’ have been cussing, but I’ll tell you who really messed up bigtime there – it was the guy who yelled at him for no purpose whatsoever, causing a spiral effect that ruined this guy’s perception of a truly loving, great people. (Seriously, Mormons are one of the most loving organized groups of people in the world and usually treat people with an incredible respect I’ve almost seen nowhere else)
Now – is ‘Joe Black‘ in the same camp as that guy in the restaurant? No way, he subscribed to my list for a reason, and the cussing offended him a bit and he unsubscribed - no big deal, right?
Not a big deal to me - because I’m looking to relate MORE to the people who connect with me, and have always felt out of place, but with me, they feel comfortable and at home – which is the majority of the world that feels out of place with all of the bull shit society inflicts on us – but that attitude (judging people who do it and getting offended by something so common to so many people) will keep him from relating to most modern people.
(Sorry folks – if you want to win the masses – understanding is the first key – even if you choose not to participate in their ‘sinning’). Again – if you don’t swear – or don’t drink, or ‘would never’ make a mistake – no big deal. Heck, if you’re perfect, all the better! The world must be evolving.
Just keep in mind – that cussing, like lots of behaviors, is only ‘rude’ because of old social norms that in reality don’t exist in our current society, and are only in your mind – language has changed and adapted, just like culture.
So if you want to cuss here and there, and like it – I’m not offended. It doesn’t have anything to do with your success or failure – it doesn’t have anything to do with your personal morality. I still appreciate you, and think you can make it.
If you were always ‘on the outside’ like square peg in a round hole growing up, there’s no one who understands better than me, and you can still be a great influence over human thought and over the success and prosperity of others.
I ALWAYS felt out of place in society – until I said ‘screw it, I’m just going to be me’ and now I know why, it’s because ‘social norms‘ are in fact not normal at all to our biology, and the ‘system’ perpetrated by the mass media, the government, schools, and corporations is both DESIGNED and structured to make you frustrated and always feel a bit ‘off’.
You don’t have to wear a suit and tie to be successful (although you can, if you want) and you don’t have to be a woman or a man. (Heck – if you’re somehow ‘both’ you’re still cool in my book, and would love to have you make a million dollars a month).
It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, Chinese or American – old or young – Christian or Heathen. We are all alike with the laws of influence and money. “The rain falls on the just and the un-just alike” isn’t that how it goes?
Amway owes a majority of it’s success in America to the system it built that tapped in to the current social culture – which at the time of it’s creation and presence was suit wearing, Bible thumping tradition. If you go to a big Amway meeting – it feels like church (they even pray at the meetings in my old organization).
Well, there’s nothing wrong with that – except when you expect that everyone can ‘copy it’ and be successful (even those of us who feel like crap when we do). So in Amway, I wandered around in a suit and tie trying to connect with people in a way that really, just wasn’t me.
The result? A story that ended in a modern MLM disaster – listen to my audio on my ‘about me’ page up top for the full grueling details. You’ll listen, and really – that was my fault, for trying to do something I wouldn’t be good at in a million years of practice.
However – expressing those same training concepts, and the same ideas – but in a way that is uniquely and only ME – resonates with people so easily that I’ve recruited over 2,250 people in 18 months online (my first 18 months) not even owning any of the companies or systems I’ve used to do it.
So is cussing good? Is it righteous? I don’t know, all I know is, people like me not being fake and saying bull shit all the time just to pat them on the back, and somehow – it’s worked for me.
Cussing isn’t responsible for, and doesn’t harm my success – but being me definitely does.
Just the two cents of a Maverick who found his place.
P.S. I know I gave a bad example of a Mormon – so let me give you a great example of an incredible friend, Paul Hutchings (blog here). Paul isn’t just a hard worker, he’s got great ethics, produces results – and never judges anyone based on the past. Paul latched on to what I taught a year ago, and has personally enrolled over 91 people in 3 months (average 1 a day) by applying the concepts. I can say that my influence (evil or not) has helped Paul become a great leader in the online Network Marketing space. He never picked up my cussing, but it doesn’t matter to him, because he wants to learn from people that get results – you rock, Paul! If anyone wants a great Mormon to join – join Paul Hutchings!